Masks… we all have them, and they all serve us to some degree, but when you feel that you’re wearing your mask more than showing your actual real face then there’s a little bit of an imbalance there that probably should be addressed.
That phrase, ‘fake it till you make it’ has definitely worked for me during certain periods of my life. Mornings when I am so utterly sick of wakening up sore and you just want to curl right back up in bed again and hibernate for a few days… well that ain’t gonna happen.
Life has to go on, kids need to go to school, we need to go to work, dinners need made etc etc… so you put your big girl pants on, fake a smile and try not to winch too much through those days until, please God, some sort of relief comes.
If we really told people how we were when we get asked that, “how’s you?” question in passing… I have a feeling we’d not be approached too often in future! So sometimes it’s the best thing to do to put that smile on and say, ‘yeah good thanks’. And I think it goes some ways towards actually getting on the first step of that journey to actually, really feeling ‘good thanks’.
BUT… what if that mask becomes stuck? What if that mask is on so often that you yourself underneath are starting to find it hard to breathe, or even to be recognised anymore?
I’m writing about this because that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I struggle with ‘pretending’ and with putting that mask on day in and day out until I barely recognise myself anymore as I can’t let my actual real feelings out.
The reality some days is that I’m tired, I’m dealing with a lot of personal issues at the moment and I’m comfort eating, I’m putting weight on and feeling really low about myself. I can let my mask fall so naturally when I’m around my children and know there’s no judgement there, just love…. It’s bliss and I’d be so lost without that.