I am writing this sipping a glass of prosecco because I have well and truly SMASHED out of so many of my comfort zones this week!
As my clients will know I have had the last week off on holidays… now this is quite a normal thing for most people, but for a chronic pain warrior (I feel more of a warrior than a ‘sufferer’ today… plus I detest that word anyway), planning a holiday is a HUGE thing.
I have written a little about this in a past blog, but I cannot emphasis enough how terrifyingly daunting it is to pay for, build up your families hopes, make arrangements, and set off on any sort of a trip, never mind a week long, very busy holiday.
This year I felt my girls were a great age for an adventure and I was just aching to take them for their first trip on a boat, an adventure on roller coasters, staying in a wonderful little enchanted village and then another adventure to see their precious wee cousins and aunty and uncle in Sheffield… it was definitely something I had to pull my brave pants on for and give it a go! My goal? The look on their wee faces!
As I said I am sitting here sipping my prosecco and feeling so thankful, blessed and in quite a bit of shock if I’m honest, that it all went so smoothly.
Now I’m not gonna lie to you, there were meds, needles, a little wine (medicinal of course) and a LOT of mindfulness and prayers involved and there were times when I could have just laid down and kicked and screamed with the pain like a tired, exhausted and totally fed-up child, but I did it, and I enjoyed the heck out of it!
I am fully aware that this may not have gone to plan and given a number of other incidents in my past those memories and fears haunt me most days! If my back ‘went’ badly enough, I was pretty much stuck and I don’t know if I could have coped, mentally or physically. But it didn’t.
So…. I guess this little message is to say I am thoroughly inspired to push myself that little bit further now in my journeying…. But I am talking more about my everyday journeying. I discovered my body is able of that little bit more than I believed and now my brain is whizzing with other possibilities and dreams.
One thing I have always believed is that you have a choice. You can give up or you can slowly keep pressing forward, even if those steps are the smallest of baby steps and even if sometimes you’re standing completely still, that’s ok too… rest… take what you need, but giving up, that’s just not an option.
I thank God most days that I was born with this ‘thran’ determined and stubborn personality, it has pulled me through some tough times, my family may agree to differ mind 😉
So no matter what your situation… please hang in there, please know that somewhere along this crazy journey you’re on, there will be something to give you a little hope back, a little sparkle, a little joy.
After being told I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 30, and that I would never be able to have children, it’s a pretty big deal reflecting on the last week.
Precious memories of walking around Alton towers, joining in and going on fun rides with my 2 babies and picnicking in the Peaks with my family just proves that we have so much potential to heal and overcome.
Keep dreaming and keep fighting,